So I'd better explain what I mean by 'quiet' - I'm that kind of person who doesn't appear to do anything out of place,normal or obscure.I'm the one who stands alone in a room,away from the majority group in most instances.I have selective views and opinions,but I'm not about to shout them from the rooftops (She says,writing it all up in a blogpost.Sweet irony.)
I don't enjoy activities that are considered appropriate for my age group;clubbing,drinking,drugs and the like.In fact I quietly hate all of these things and I feel sorry for those that succumb to the peer pressures.But again,I won't voice the concerns unless someone else asks me.
Like everyone,I have my own silent secrets - some a lot darker than others.I've spent time delving into topics many wouldn't dare.
I like my own company.It's when I am most relaxed,yet also when I'm at my most sensitive to outside influence.Being alone and able to organise personal thoughts is quite a rush at times though.Call me odd.
I prefer to stay silent in group conversation because most of the time,I'm analysing.Constantly analysing every member of the circle.If anxiety doesn't have me in it's grips already,I'm thinking of interesting things to say but I never end up saying anything.
As a result of my quietness,I rarely make strong connections to new people.Confrontation is almost impossible for me.I do sometimes wish that I'd spent more time talking and less time thinking..it may have given me an easier path.Then after all that,I remember that I am an intelligent,thinking human being with the ability to conceive separate ideas about the world.And that makes me happier.That gives me more purpose.
What I hate the most about being quiet is how others portray me.I mean the whole "Don't bother with her,she doesn't speak much.",because believe me,when I want to have an indepth conversation,my speech flows at an incredible rate with (what I consider) a good level of understanding.Equally,I find it much easier to convey my thoughts via a keyboard.When I'm immersed in a subject,I could talk for hours and have done.If I'm invested in a another human,you'll know about it.People that don't give others a chance to come out of their shell is my problem..
Why does everything have to be so chop and change? Is life speeding by for some at such a rate that they have no time to understand? How unfortunate for them.
It's the age old dilemma of patience and open-mindedness,that so many people seem to lack,I suppose.
Maybe we'll never solve it.
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